Being a slave myself, i am regularly questioned on how i am living slavery and i often hear: “I would like to be a slave, but I could not give up my limits”, “I have a slave mentality but I’m afraid of losing who I am “or “I would like to obey him and belong to him but if things go wrong, I want to have the choice to leave”. These are legitimate questions and concerns, especially knowing that the request for slavery will be the last choice considered and decided by the submissive.
Before going any further, I will briefly give the definition of a slave according to House WhiteWind, so that you can understand the scope of my last sentence.
In our view, a slave is a status assigned to a s-type who has freely, consciously and consensually decided to give up control of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of his life and to cede all his powers, including his decision-making power, to his Master constantly and permanently (limits, terms of the contract and duration, etc.) and lives the TPE dynamic. A slave has no decision-making power, unless given by the Master. This is the only dynamic involving the TPE and it is irrevocable, in the sense that the slave can neither free himself, nor be released, sold or transferred by the Master.
According to this definition, we understand that the “submissive” s-type has given to the “Dominant” D-type control of all facets of its life, has given up its decision-making power and has abandoned its limits. In doing so, the two types have transitioned from a Dominant/submissive dynamic to a Master/slave dynamic. The key here, the essence at the heart of this transition are the aspects included under the acronym TPE.
What is TPE? These three letters designate “Total Power Exchange” and its meaning is explicit: the slave gives the totality of his power and, in exchange, the Master takes over the life of the slave. To concretely image this concept, the Master becomes like an agent executing a mandate of incapacity, becoming responsible for all facets of the slave’s life. It is an immense responsibility which requires from the Master several fundamental qualities – empowerment, integrity, congruence, being concerned and respectful of the slave’s needs and acting in the best interest of the dynamics. The slave gives his power, yes, but particularly gives his vow of obedience to his Master. The slave then puts the needs and desires of the Master before his own needs, which become tertiary and fulfilled at the sole discretion of the Master. If the very nature of the person is not to obey, but to question before being able to serve then this person risks his mental well-being in a TPE dynamic. What to do then? What alternative can be offered to people wishing to explore obedience without having to comply with a TPE dynamic?
We find this answer in the Dominant/submissive dynamic, under the form of D/s NPE CNC. Let’s take a closer look at these terms.
What is NPE? This is another acronym designating the terms “Negotiated Power Exchange”. These terms perfectly designate and explain the central core of the Dominant/submissive dynamic. Let’s give a few more definitions according to House WhiteWind, before coming back to the NPE.
What is a submissive?
A submissive is a status attributed to a type-s who has freely, consciously and consensually offered their submission, who has been accepted by a D-type and who lives a NPE 24/7 dynamic. The submissive always retains its decision-making power. Thus, the s-type has the power to set its limits, to negotiate the aspects of daily life that will be governed by D-type and even to unilaterally terminate the contract if the D-type does not meet the obligations for which they engaged.
So if a submissive retains their decision-making power, this means that the power exchange is not total. It is for this reason that D/s relationships are overseen by the acronym NPE; the exchange of power is negotiated.
Now that we have defined what makes up the heart of a D/s relationship, let’s dwell on this other acronym mentioned above, the CNC. What is hidden under these letters?
The CNC designates “Consensual Non Consent” and it can be practiced in two ways.
The first way refers to kink, in the context of a scene usually designated as “rape play”. This is a scene negotiated between both types in which the s-type may be kidnapped and then be brutally sexually used, by one or more persons designated by the D-type or performed by the D-type himself.
The second way, which applies in our case of D/s NPE CNC, refers to the fact that during a contractual renegotiation, both types agreed that during a certain period of time, the s-type’s refusal to do anything is ignored. The word ‘no’ is deleted from the s-type’s vocabulary, so is its decision-making power. Limits can be set aside during this time, just like the safeword, in order to mimic a TPE dynamic. The submissive can then explore, in a controlled environment defined by a precise period of time, what his existence could represent if to live an M/s dynamic. Consensual non-consent should never be requested by the D-type, the CNC must be carried out at the s-type’s request. A D-type should not convince the s-type to indulge in such a practice using blackmail or emotional manipulation. We would be talking about abuse, which is contrary to BDSM practices. Once the term of the contract has been reached, the s-type resumes its decision-making power and the D/s dynamic continues, or the NPE CNC contract may be renewed for another defined period. Having CNC periods interspersed with renegotiations assures the s-type that if this no longer suits him, there is the possibility of going back.
This is what I recommend to an s-type who would like to explore slavery in a safe way, but I always add a downside. Before abandoning yourself to a CNC experience, I cannot overemphasize the fact that a solid bond of trust and a positive experience must first exist between the s-type and the D-type. Indeed, giving all your decision-making power to someone you barely know or even with someone who does not have your best interests at heart can degenerate quickly with devastating consequences on your mental state, which can create long term emotional wounds.
In our view at House WhiteWind, becoming a slave corresponds to a perpetual commitment from the future slave but also from the Master. It is a request that must be carefully considered, discussed, understood and be based on a real need for obedience from the slave and a visceral need for responsibility from the Master. This is why we recommend a 10 years D/s 24/7 dynamic commitment, experienced continuously through time by the aspiring slave and the aspiring Master, before making the transition to the Total Power Exchange. Thus, the potential risks of incompatibility, abuse or dissatisfaction are detected and resolved before concluding this ultimate change in status.